on-the-rise pop artist Carlos Vara talks with tmi about his new single
Can you tell us about the inspiration behind Impossible? Did any events, in particular, inspire the song?
I’m not sure if there was one event in particular – it was just more a season of life.I started the concept around 2 years ago. At this time I was around 19 or 20 and living in Asheville, working at so many restaurant jobs, and I was miserable. I didn’t really feel connected to anyone in town, and I didn’t have a support system. I felt like I couldn’t connect to my family back home because when I came out, there were some rifts in that situation. At the same time, I’m trying to learn how to be an adult while also battling anxiety and depression; it was just a lot on me. I’ve always had this way of internalizing all of that, blaming myself and fighting with myself and getting in my own way.
The song came to me at like 3:00 AM one night – I had, “Impossible. I’m so impossible. You’re so impossible. We’re so impossible.” That melody, and that’s pretty much it. We brought it into a session with two of my co-writers, Josh Williams and Catt Gravitt. Initially, I knew those words needed to be said in the song, but I didn’t know why at that point. I hadn’t had the realization that the song was about me. We tried writing it on a relationship inspiration with somebody else, and then midway through, I was like, “This isn’t it. This is not me. I haven’t gone through this.” And then I realized the song was about my relationship with myself. I’m the only one here in this bed overthinking commas in a text, trying to figure out what it meant. I’m constantly overthinking everything. My relationship with myself is impossible, but for some reason, I’m in love with it. I believe in myself, but at the same time, I destroy myself. It was just like a whole weird moment in time that I feel like I captured with “Impossible.”
Can you tell us about the concept of the music video for this song?
Well, I really wanted to visualize the turmoil that I was experiencing at the time. In the beginning, I’m in the bathroom looking at myself and then it kind of goes into this whole other world. And, to me, that represents that’s just stuff that happened at the time. I’d be in the bathroom just trying to put myself together and then just have a panic attack. And then all of this stuff is happening and I just feel like a mess. Like I’m breaking and falling apart. And then at the end, I’m like, “Okay. Time to put my face back on and walk outside.” I just really wanted to represent that reality of my life of being broken and how it affects me.
You have such a great presence on social media and a real connection with your followers. Why do you think social media is so important for on the rise artists?
It’s weird because I think artists in the past, in the ’90s and stuff, they didn’t have a way like that to be so connected to their supporters. So it almost gave them this superhuman ability, this untouchable– which was really cool. If you look at someone like Michael Jackson or Whitney Houston, it’s like they were these creatures from the heavens. I feel like social media now gives me the ability to really take people on a journey of who you are, the highs and the lows, the extravagant parts, the bad parts. Then, of course, it really just depends on how you plan on using it. Some people don’t use it at all, and I’m sure that that’s really great because they probably have so much time, because I probably use it too much! For me, it’s really important for me to just showcase who I am. I’m not afraid of saying what’s bad and what’s good going on, and I love connecting with people. I love people. I’ve always been a people person. I love meeting people, making friends, and I feel like social media has really given me an ability to just be me. I mean, look at Cardi B. She is the most real person. People love to relate, and it’s inspiring because it gives others hope that they can do the same things.
What are three words you would use to describe your fans or your listeners?
It’s weird saying the word fans, because I feel really close with them. Every time somebody messages me, a lot of the times I end up becoming their friend. Three words to describe the people that are interested in my music and my support system — or a little “family” of online people — Emotional. Wild. Extreme. My life motto (even my Instagram bio) is “insecure but will fight you.” We have extreme emotions – I think the people that resonate with me online are able to fearlessly feel every emotion.
Do you have any pre-show rituals that help you get pumped up to perform? If so, what are they?
To be honest, I just usually freak the f*** out.
Is there anyone you want to thank that’s helped you get to where you are today?
Yeah, so many people. Everyone here has supported me up to this point of my life. My management, my label, my family, my friends. Anyone who’s ever had any part of my life good or bad has really shaped me into the artist and person who I am today. So I just want to thank the universe, everyone. I mean, everyone who’s ever talked to me. Thank you, because you made me who I am. You made me feel the feels I felt, good or bad.
What would you say is your biggest dream or goal right now?
My biggest dream or goal is to create music, connect with people, create the best album ever.
Is there anything you want to tell your supporters?
I love you guys. Thank you so much for following me and my crazy ass on this journey. It really means so much to me. I never thought in a million years people would care about what I’m doing, in general. So that means a lot. I don’t know, you guys are the best. Thank you for constantly believing in me and connecting with me. I really hope you like this song.